| Making Big Decisions in Your Relationship |
By Doug Scott  Decisions are a natural part of relationships. Some decisions are small like what to eat for dinner or what television show to watch, but others are much larger like choosing to have children or choosing a permanent place to live. Some decisions are made easily and others cause intense conflict among couples. This conflict may create the need for Indianapolis marriage counseling. The importance of any decision, however, is making it together and being respectful of one anothers wishes in the decision making process.
Making decisions together is often complicated by personal desires and wishes, the inability to compromise, fear, anxiety, and outsiders influence on the decision at hand. Extended families often play a role in major decision making of a couple as their ideas are considered in light of the choice. So, how do couples make big, important decisions in their relationships without focusing on personal desire, fears, anxieties, and others' opinions or reactions to what the couple wants? Here are a couple suggestions to keep in mind when making a major decision. 1. Listen to one another even if you dont agree. 2. Ask yourself what you are afraid of if you let go of your ideas and desires. 3. Figure out what you are most anxious about. My assumption is that your anxiety goes deeper than compromising with your spouse. 4. Notice how much of an influence your extended families have on your decision. If your decision is mostly being influenced by your family, I encourage you to try to put your family aside and speak with your spouse about your desires as a couple. 5. Make a list of the benefits and consequences of your ideas. 6. Consider a timeline for when your decision needs to be made and plan to speak about your decision in a timely manner. 7. Speak with your spouse about your ideas before you speak to anyone else. 8. Be mindful of how difficult making large decisions can be. Take your time and be honest with your ideas. If you find in the process that you are unable to let your ideas go or express them truthfully, I encourage you to seek additional support and encouragement from Indianapolis couples counseling . Fear is often a part of making big decisions and a counselor can help you identify those fears and express them productively to your spouse. A couples counselor can also help you keep your ideas as a couple separate from the desires of others. The most important part of making a decision is that you make it together as a couple and feel comfortable with the decision being made.The Lotus Group has many couples counselors that can assist you in making major decisions for your relationship. They understand the unique demands of relationships and work hard to support and encourage healthy patterns for your relationship. If you feel you would benefit from speaking with a counselor, please visit www.lotusgroup.biz. |